—Happy anniversary, Jill.
—Oh god. Is it that time of year again?
—Now, honey. Don't tell me you forgot.
—Believe me. I didn't forget. I was just hoping you wouldn't remember.
—Like I could ever overlook the day we became man and wife. Puh-lease. I have a little surprise for you, too.
—Wait just a minute, Bob. I specifically said no more gifts last year. Don't you remember?
—But sweetie, you're gonna love what I got you this time. It's not like last year.
—You mean it's better than the pet python that you wrapped a week early? It was so hungry it mistook my nose for a mouse. I still have the scar.
—I know that wasn't my finest hour, dear.
—Or what about the year before that, Bob? When you took me out for a "discount" dinner cruise. The ship was taking on water before we stepped aboard, and we had to swim back to shore. I lost my good shoes in the harbor.
—Boy was my face red that night, pookie. But I promise you'll like this. Just open the box.
—There's nothing alive in here, is there? Or nothing that was recently breathing?
—Not this year, buttercup. Go ahead. Open it.
—…Wow. Bob, this is…nice.
—I know. I took our wedding photos, uploaded them to Lifephoto, and made you some personalized gifts. There's a photobook with pictures from the big day, a calendar with shots from our honeymoon, and even an ornament with a pic of us ice skating at Rockefeller Center.
—Geeze, Bob. It's all so amazing. But how did you afford it?
—OnSale had a special deal. For $35, I could pick out up to $100 worth of customized gifts from Lifephoto. There's playing cards, a skin for your laptop, and even a daily planner.
—I must say, Bob. You really pulled out all the stops this year. Thank you.
—If you liked that, you'll love your next gift.
—Uh…another gift? Bob, you probably shouldn't have.
—Now, now. This is gonna blow your mind. I bought some puffer fish from Whole Grub and made you a romantic, exotic sashimi dinner. I know it's potently toxic, but don't worry. I watched a video on YouTube about how to fillet it.
—Bob…Let's just go to Applebees.
Deal #: 2697