A lot of the newbs that step into the ring think all then need to win a belt are rock-hard pecs, a few signature moves, and a great one-liner. Take it from me—that's all bologna. Wanna know the secret to my pro wrestling success? I never give my opponents anything to grab. Body hair? Shaved. Trunks? Skin tight. Arms? Held in tight like a T Rex. If they can't get a grip, they can't toss me to the mat. That's why they call me El Otter.
Sometimes, a real persistent adversary might get in close enough to wrap his paws around my chest, and he thinks he's got me. Little does he know, though, I have a secret weapon: Dead Sea Spa Care products. My pre-bout regiment of scrubbing, buttering, and cuticle treating makes my skin as soft and slippery as a greased-up hot dog. I slip through my foe's fingers, surprise him from behind, and BLAMO—my Flying Aerial Scissor Snaptacular lays him out flat.
I don't usually like to spill all my trade secrets, but I'll break it down for you. I start off by rubbing my body head to tow with the Dead Sea Salt Scrub. It's formulated with minerals from the Dead Sea for a deep exfoliation that leaves my skin fresh, moisturized, and youthful. Once all the dead skin's gone, I slather myself with Dead Sea Shea Butter. It hydrates my skin without leaving behind a greasy film, so the refs can't tell I'm lubed. For the finishing touch, I treat my nails with a few drops of Dead Sea Cuticle Oil to keep them healthy, hangnail free, and looking spectacular for all the close-up shots of me holding up my championship belts.
You might think all these fancy imported beauty products might take a dent out of my take-home pay, but I've got yet another trick up my supple sleeve: OnSale. They have a special bundle with a 10oz jar of Dead Sea Salt Scrub, an 8oz tub of Dead Sea Shea Body Butter, and a 1oz bottle of Dead Sea Cuticle Oil Treatment—all for an amazingly low price. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm going head to head with The Pretzel Maker tonight, and I have some salt crystals to rub into my skin.
Tel. No.: 972-382-8258
Deal #: 2739