—A package of baloney, a bottle of Sour Apple Pucker, and the Reader's Digest. Anything else for you today?
—Just one more thing … stick 'em up. This here's a robbery, see. Now empty out the register like a good little store clerk, and you'll get to go home to see your family again in one piece.
—Are you yanking my chain, man?
—Do I look like I'm kiddin' around here, kid?
—This has to be a joke, right? Are you Juicing me? Am I being Juiced?
—No. You're being robbed. Now fork over the cash.
—Or … or I'll have to pull the trigger.
—The trigger on your hair dryer?
—Hey. Zip your lip, punk. This ain't your typical dryer. It's a genuine Beyond The Beauty Hair Dryer, the kind the pros use. I could melt your eyeballs clean out of your skull with its 1600W A/C Jonson motor in either of its two heat settings.
—How are you gonna do anything to my eyeballs when it's not even plugged in? And the closest socket is a good 2 meters away. There's no way you'd reach me at that distance.
—Wrong! This puppy has a full 2.5 meter cord, so I'll have more than enough slack to liquefy your peepers.
—Well, even if it were plugged in, surely you wouldn't be able keep your grip on that coif canon while we struggle.
—Wrong again! Not only is it ergonomically styled, but it's even got a slip-proof finish. The only thing that'll be dropping around here is your eye-less body if you don't start handing over that dough.
—Okay, okay. Let's just calm down.
—Calm? How am I supposed to stay calm when you keep talking trash on my dryer. I've got half a mind to slip on one of its two airflow concentrators and turn your entire face into a bubbling pool of goo.
—Look, here's the money. Now just take it and leave. Please.
—Now we're talking. Oh, but before I go, do you have any VO5 leave in conditioner oil? I'm trying to tame these natural curls.
—Just split, already.
—Fine, fine. I'll try the CVS.
Deal #: 2923